Standing on the Edge

OK, so I’m going to try and be positive when writing this blog.  Here is what is going on, this is going to be me unscripted:  I am shaking right now in heartache, it took all I had to recover out of bed this afternoon, I finally left my apartment at 11 pm and now I’m back, writing this and listening to U2, not wanting to face tomorrow.  I hate this feeling of being paralyzed and not snapping out of this.  I’ve been through many break ups but this one really kicked me in the nuts!  I have never felt this broken and it was my fault, I did this to myself.  I am the cause of this feeling….I read something yesterday, it said “A heartache is like a broken rib, everything seems fine from the outside but inside every breath hurts.”  Wow, that’s me!!!  I have pushed away everyone who has ever loved me and I hate myself for it!

I have to change, I have to, I can’t live like this one more day.  I need redemption!!!  I want to be a better person so bad, I want salvation so much, “just say the word and I shall be healed.”  I just want to tap my heels!  I remember one of my favorite movie quotes is from Vanilla Sky, when Penelope Cruz’s character says “with every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around.”  I wish it was that simple.

I will rise above this somehow and be stronger and better from this.  I want to make right to everyone I hurt or at least the ones I can apologize to.  In the meantime, I will try to be funny in Tulsa in a couple of weeks, I wish it was sooner.

Take care -

Danny Keaton   www.dannykeatoncomedy.com 

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www.DannyKeatonComedy.com

Jesus' Birthday Party is Over

There is nothing more depressing than a wet, cold, around 51 degrees, late December night in the Lakewood area of East Dallas…and there are no Christmas lights or decorations around because they year is about to end.

You’re partying at 3 am on your balcony, alone. 

No one else but you and your demons. 

I am thankful

When I was 19 I thought I knew it all, what 19 year old doesn’t?  Then when I turned 35, I realized I don’t know everything but I know a helluva lot more than I did when I was 19.  Now that I’m 42 I’ve had another epiphany, I’m dumb as shit because of my cynicism!  Because of my demeaning attitude towards people who are not like me, I’ve become blind to the goodness all around me.  For example:

That cable box is what I call Pandora’s Box into the world of Government and “Establishment/Fascist” controlled media.

One night I was house sitting for my girlfriend and I was watching cable TV, which was especially nice since I didn’t have cable TV.    I was watching Cops, my all-time favorite show, I’m not kidding.  I like to see people other than myself getting arrested.  All a sudden, just as the black guy on TV was about to get Tasered by the big bad policeman, the cable signal got lost.  So in frustration I reboot the cable box system and in-conveniently had to wait 30 seconds so I could be reconnected to my façade of the world.  Then all of a sudden the screen goes from black to an inspirational message that displayed the words: “rethink possible” and at the bottom of the screen the letters AT and T.  A message from the gods of corporate America, I first thought with my usual sense of cynicism.  But then, I thought about it….”Rethink Possible”…hum…that is actually a really cool message.  Sometimes you have to reboot your life when bad things happen, when you lose your signal, just reboot and rethink…possible.  One of my favorite quotes is from a woman who was above all else a brilliant philosopher, Marylyn Monroe.  She once said, “…Bad things fall apart so better things can come together.”  That message from corporate America made me realize all the things in my life I am thankful for.  I am most of all thankful for my family and the people I love and who love me back.  I am thankful for everyone whom I am privileged and honored to share my art with.  I am thankful for writers, free press reporters and artists who sometimes sacrifice their own lives for their art.  I am thankful to Corporations and individuals who donate their time and money to those in need…and I am thankful for all the messages that are all around us, sometimes you just have to look.

I wish you and your family a safe and Happy Thanksgiving!

Danny Keaton – Standup Comedian

www.DannyKeatonComedy.com

Sponsored by www.ComedyGuys.com if you have a traffic ticket in Texas you need to get rid of, go to #ComedyGuysDefensiveDriving

  

Writer's Block

http://youtu.be/y0Q4JbeAMQo

 

I can't write and I have writer's block, the worse thing that can happen to a comedian.  It's like not being able to get it up before sex!  I can come up with ideas but the funny just isn't happening.  Oh how I wish I could open the third eye.  My next blog will have some substance worth reading, I promise.

My Spirit Had Been Soiled

Can a place hold magic or at least something that cannot be explained?  Can traveling over an area marked with boundaries from our own limitations transcend us into a higher level of awareness in self existence?  Can we feel a connection to a land that only our spirit can recognize? 

Everyone who knows me really well knows that I have a spiritual connection with the Southwest, especially New Mexico.  It’s rugged desert landscape that is unchanged since the days of the Wild West, Native American culture, the adobe buildings, the Santa Fe cuisine, the art; I could go on and on.

 I was traveling through eastern New Mexico and I stopped off at a truck stop along I-40.  Inside the gift shop I saw a sign that said “Indian blankets $25.”  I love Native American art, so I bought one.  When I got back home to Dallas, I proudly displayed the Indian blanket over my futon.  One night as I was lying on the floor, listening to my psycho girlfriend yelling at me over the phone about something I don’t even remember because I wasn’t listening.   I happen to notice the tag on the inside of my “Indian” blanket that said “MADE IN INDIA.”  India!?...India!?

I was deceived, my magic had been soiled!  My spiritual New Mexico had been tainted!  I was pissed!!  I don’t remember the name of that truck stop but next time I travel through, I’m taking a Sharpie and writing “Made in India” on that sign! 

 

www.DannyKeatonComedy.com

#ComedyGuys    

Why I hate "some" people in Dallas

Why I hate “some” people in Dallas.

First of all I have compassion for other people’s feelings, but…when I look around the great city of Dallas, Texas, the city I call home, I can’t help but get really pissed off.

Here is the type of people I want to kick in the face:

The hipster at White Rock Coffee who is too hip to be sitting at Starbucks, I’m sure you’ve seen him before.  The guy with a pair of Buddy Holly glasses above a grimy beard, sporting a fedora and a flannel shirt from Urban Outfitters, simultaneously working on a tablet and IPhone in an orchestrated display of douche bagginess.

The “I’m entitled to everything” trophy wife from University Park in her Mercedes SUV who takes tennis lessons from a young Hispanic man, because she loves his company. 

The Uptown $50,000 millionaires, sitting on the patio cafes on McKinney Ave, trying to be something they’re not.  The gang banger wannabes at the DART train stations with their pants below their ass, showing the world where their brains really are.

 And my favorite… (Drum roll)….the asshole who cuts me off on 635 without using a signal!

And that is why I hate “some” of the people in Dallas.

 

Love Always-

Danny Keaton – Standup Comedian

www.DannyKeatonComedy.com

Sponsored by www.ComedyGuys.com if you have a traffic ticket in Texas you need to get rid of, go to #ComedyGuysDefensiveDriving

 

I will be posting weekly blog for ComedyGuys.com.  I would love your feed back on these blogs and any nice comments would be welcomed too.

Danny Keaton
www.DannyKeatonComedy.com